No 14 - 1972
stanley & tie-tars
le roman absurde and how to destroy it - opal l. nations
canto 20. the science fiction canto.
tie-tars thrust a hand through a peep hole to feel if his brain had
stopped, and a few things started dropping again.
brief explanatory note.
imagine a sphere, in this case the planet earth; one part land mass,
two parts sea. now imagine that the earth had slipped toward you under your feet, could not the liquid mass of oceans move off at such a speed as to take upon itself a release, or self propelled "lift-off" from its sea beds? and could not this ocean reach such a height, beyond that of the pull of the earth's atmosphere, until, and by the currents round the globe, mass itself about the said globe encasing it with swirling tides, and not forgetting the creatures therein? well, believe it or not, this is what happened, with great loss of life, i might add. like all earthly things, or as well as other earthly things, tie-tars inside the hold of a galley found himself in this maelstrom with odd things dropping about him, brought about by the earth's breaking or getting nicely back to normal.
now read on
strict order of falling things.
odd moistened tooth-brushes, trading accounts A to Z, glass eyes in
cartridge shells, fresh cut Huns tongue sandwiches, Leo Benson's
pot hole and gold mining sickness pills, and air, homosexual cavities,
open space capsuals, an old boys clasp, crop dusters one size only,
china rimmed spectacles, a five wheel drive, a few stiff life sentences, a copper belt, a religion going to seed, a green spleen, deep earth-
worms containing crude oil, one piece of nostalgia, one open grand
piano full of asteroids and its keys around the pianist's throat six-
teen one act marionettes, one tulip patch with top soil from holland,
one ancient mummy soaking wet, a whirlwind of nail parings, a mono-syllable of dead weight, one popularity poll, a reliable witness harbouring sentimentality virus, and a regiment of boots, without booted people marching on and on and on and on and on and on through the cheese string of time and the syrup of space.
and no more was heard of tie-tars, except between the pages of loose leaved books.
canto 21. the involvement with livia lemmondrip.
stanley not now the man he used to be, but used, or the used man and person he is now, or not the used or unused woman he would be, was, and never could be, because he couldn't cope with being, now or yesterday, a woman, when in fact stanley is, and always was a man person exclusively and beyond all reasonable doubt, not the used or unused, woman or girl, inclusive or exclusive, doubtful or conclusive, reasonable, or beyond reason feminine. which would in fact explain why stanley was not a man, but a man and person, in other words two people, stanley the man, stanley the person.
stanley the man - manipulative
stanley the person - projective.
the iron matron kept a brood of nursing staff, kept them warm under
her voluptuous skirts.
Jason - the male nurse, a lean hungry being, marksman with the
tranquilizing rifel and an excellent lean-to.
Archive- the other male nurse, black belt holder, holds the fastest
known record for killing a patient physically and painless-
ly, writes down everything he sees on the iron matron's
Maria - the nurse obsessed by motion, everything had to move and
her body moved everything, her body was heavy and in
need of a chisel, her laughter carried everything, you could
sometimes see the sea in the sky at night carry her
laughter, even the elderly patients carried it, and Elsa the
cook cooked it, and the dustmen carried it away.
Andora was her friend and carried more of Maria's laughter than any one else, which was why the patients brought her a shoulder bag to
carry it all in, Andora was the bearer of everyones used ideas and her body processed them in such a way as to be of edible benefit on sundays in the form of a delicacy given out at tea-time to the patients who's stomachs offered healthy things to their heads.
alone and quite professional at being alone was Livia, and nobody could say why Livia said nothing, for she said nothing often, to herself and sometimes to her large chest, sometimes to her face, sometimes to her courtship sandals of unstrapped buckle, with wrestle of foot in crumpled and stretch aspects which produced a profusion of words or a monologue, or pain and cramp or cramp and pain, or cramp and crack, or cramp and crack and cramp, but livia did not say anything of nothing or nothing that was anything, for she spoke, and spoke with-in herself, in her head or heart or sometimes she spoke to her stomach, but this time she wondered about the author, she thought about the author, she knew about the author, she knew the author liked large breasts, she feared that the very Opal L. Nations that created, would create something, and create small things of her or with her, then she knew it was not herself not saying anything, or speaking anything, to herself, to others or to others, to her head, her heart, her stomach, for it was love, that heart shaped thing that fell from the good dogs arm-pit to unfortunate people time and time again, quite uncalled for, quite enforced on one, on one's head leaving a nastly old fashioned wound, for it was none other than man person Stanley that spoke to her, as in baths or in bloody silly books, and she thought she had seen him before within the tight, compartmentalized mind of the author, during a walk
and suss it out through the park.
it was stanley saying all manner of prosecutionable things, remarks the like of "are they yours or are they silicone?", "what splendid
Charlies!", and "how about a strong cup of my own etchings?"
it was not long before Livia agreed upon demands made of her, and
apart from a broken nose, the author only suffered a short lasting pain from a kick in the balls as a result of such short cuts through mutual masturbation. not only did Livia have a lot of time off to be off time, but had time off to have it off a lot of times.
stanley found a common bond when he held her hand, how close
fitting and alike their hands were. in the lush grounds stanley found a
dirty stone and gave it to her, and she dropped it behind her when he wasn't looking. stanley found a lump in his throat and gave it to her,
and wrapping it in a tissue, she dropped it behind her when he wasn't
looking. stanley found a deep hollow pounding sound on his heart and gave it to her, and she likewise gave stanley a pounding sound, and stanley did not throw it away but kept it by keeping it.
Livia found a small fire in a small grate between her legs and gave it
to him, and stanley chewed it, sucked it, bit at it, swallowed it, brought it up, put his nose in it, put his toes on it, put his fingers in it, put his thumb through it, wiped his butt on it, pushed his elbow up it,
pressed his nuts in it, thrust his john up it, pushed his knee up it,
rammed some keys up it, spat some spit up it, put some grit up it,
blew some tea up it, put his hair in it, rolled some grass in it, sung
a tune to it, tied a knot in it, wouldn't stop at it, stuffed a stick up it,
hooked his prick up it, laid a kick on it, put a lip on it, - on the grass, up a tree, in the earth, on a bush, upside down, back to front, front
to back, in a park, on a bench, with helpers, standing up, crouching
prone, lying down, on the side, in the mud, this way and that - put
a stump up it, pumped air up it, said hello up it, saw a hedgehog
have a go at it.
but alas stanley could not toughen his Thomas, and alone by himself
he played at flagellation, then burying his member in the soft soil and
getting it jammed in a hole where an owl lived.
at last the mighty stanley held his mighty blaster in two hands out in
the open under a raging sky covered with a sea of breakers raging
Livia was out of sight or could not be seen, or if one was blind would not be seen, or if one didn't have eyes could not be seen, or if one had eyes and kept to the story would not be seen, or if one had
one eye and only kept to less than the bare threads of the story would not be seen, or if one had no eyes, no insight, no story and no author would not be seen.
then alack of regular or irregular span of time without interval stanley
saw Livia floating in her own juice, being ridden and chased without
smell of the scent or blow of the horn, by the sizable John of the
nearly the end.
addresses of the characters available for correspondence with the readers:
TIE-TARS - Christian Preservatives (Canners) Ltd.,
P.O. Box 15,
or - "Tie-Tars", Emperor Christian Herald (galley)
The Telecommunications Network,
or - Container T4 (Galus Roselski),
Aqua Interspace (Life Supply Limited),
Launch Site Headquarters VI I,
or - Mrs. Ethel Bates,
Refugee Camp - North 7,
STANLEY - c/c The Author,
The Author's Estate,
at the author's place.
or - Matron X,
C/O Iron Pill Rest Home,
The Water Gardens & Swamp,
or - Lengling Villa,
Stanley Wines Ltd.,
GEORGE MICHAEL - C/O National Union of Novel
STONE Characters Rights,
Desaeserea W 4.
MRS. HATCHEQUE -
FARLEY LIVINGSTONE C/O TheJ.P.LivingstoneFoundation,
5o61, East 54th & South,
N.Y. 17oo1, New York City.
for signed photos and
a free copy of "himself",
write - ..... Marcus Zeet,
The God House,
other content omitted from the story for the sake of the characters.
beneath the Province of Desaeserea in accurate locations kept secret by government enforcement, are a series of underground nuclear test sites. a group of colonels opposed to the imperial government in
Desaeserea, were being sought for conspiracy, quite a number were
captured, but six lead by Col Fred Romulus, (whose present where-
abouts is unknown), managed to escape to Linke where missile silos
and nuclear test sites are said to be located.
these sites were built, planned and developed after the death of a
popular politician by the name of Jesus Christ, because it was thought at the time by the Imperial Government, before the colonels made their bids for power, that the heavenly or Paradise forces above the city, would seize Desaeserea by force of arms or natural catastrophy and set up a nationalist christian movement.
stanley was not aware that (San) Pepper Beaches truck stop lay atop of these silos, whether tie-tars realized this or knew this then or later (bringing to light the true under lying motive, to his bid for unemployment) or that mr. and mrs. tiberus were in fact conspirators, is pure speculation, or most unlikely.
but the author and a handful of his co-conspirators speculate that tie-
tars might have been in league with algae the thermounderwear fiend. the author and a handful of co-conspirators share the suspicion that
algae was an agent and saboteur of Jesus Christ's Nationalist Christ-
ian Movement, and was sent by him to bring about turmoil.
that behind the backs of the hidden scheming Col Fred Romulus and his friends, algae triggered off an underground nuclear explosion, first making sure that tie-tars was safe, giving him time to resign, and then taking his own life and that of the colonels, knowing that the chain
reaction, i.e. the break of the outer earth crust from its nucleus, the
changing of the sky, and the parting of the seas from the earth to
beyond the earth's own gravity in the sky, would bring about fear and disruption.
algae did not know that the radiation was somehow contained and that the length of time the earth crust moved was small. had the disruption continued, giving ample time to Jesus Christ and his risen from the dead souls to take control of Desaesera, the minds of people the like of stanley might have been fettered to more than a glimpse of a man in dungareeeees.
opal I. nations
rumours have been circulating as to the authenticity of stanley and tie-tars, that in fact the story was stolen by opal I. nations from the paris notebooks of rene magritte. rene magritte was born in 1898, in
belgium, and in 1918 moved to brussels. in 1922 magritte was influenced by the reproduced works of de chirico and in 1924 with a group of belgian artists founded a group, parallel with the paris surrealists, of which he came into close contact with from 1927-30. but from 1930 he has worked almost entirely in his native brussels. in 1948, he went through a brief fauvist period.
it was during the 1930's that magritte became interested in a new order of things, whole new vibrant visual experiences appeared in his paintings: cracks in houses, seams upon faces, the innocent existence of table legs in the sky.
it is rumoured that during magritte's journey back to brussels in 1930, a railway baggage porter forced open a trunk wherin the paris note books were packed, amongst some of the items stolen was a white tuba and a black business man's suit.
the two alleged notebooks were said to contain poetry of strong visual imagination, and that magritte himself wrote his personal experiences into them.
also that since 1930 the notebooks have never fallen into the hands of students and authoritative experts working on or putting together
magritte's life's work.
it is said that opal I. nations, aquired the original notebooks from an
under the counter dealer in a shop in east norwood, and that the
personal experiences of magritte were written out and the references to mr. nations written in.
investigations are now being made by experts from the offices of interpol in london and brussels who seized the original manuscript from mr. nations flat. as yet no charges or allegations have been made, and this is due to the apparent reluctance on the part of rene magritte to make any comment as to the validity of these rumours.
Sir John Rowley Hollingsworth,
(Solicitors) London, W.1.
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